I am currently designing a class for my students on the Red Flags of Fad Diets.  I have been fascinated over the latest and greatest lengths dieters will take for the quick fix. My creative juices got involved: Here is my first Lecture…

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GET RICH QUICK

This is 100% guaranteed.  A idiot-proof guide to make tons of money. It has never failed. Create your own FAD Diet.  All you need are the right tools… Here are the secrets.

INTRODUCTION

Please note: This is a do it yourself project. It is fail proof. It is guaranteed to make you rich. There are no tricks, you do not need any special qualifications.

CHECKLIST OF EQUIPMENT:

Pen or pencil & Paper (or if you are good at typing right into the computer, then all you need is a computer).

You will eventually need a publisher, but because this is fail proof, and publishers will be making quite a large cut from your profits, those will be a dime a dozen.

QUALIFICATIONS:

Although it was determined that you do not NEED ANY credentials, there is a disclaimer:  This is especially effective if you have Doctorate degree in something obscure like gemology. That way you can call it the “Dr. Cheatam Diet”.   and you’ll be rich.

Here are the basic ingredients you will need to create your own fad diet:

• A book that lists the nutritional values of every known food to mankind (this is easy  to create, because there are many databases and apps that already do this that you  can get permission to reprint).
• A fairly good knowledge of what is available in grocery stores (and what is not too)
• A bag of sweet potato chips (you will need a healthy snack while you work).
• A picture of someone who was slim 5 years ago, but is now larger.
• The larger person has to own an outfit that is at least 10 years old.
• Air brush software

What you will NOT need:

• No nutritional knowledge whatsoever.

STEP 1: Selecting the “magic” secret behind your diet

When choosing the method for your fad diet you will need your book of nutrition. Look in your book and find a measure of nutrition that is irrelevant to everyday life. Here are some good examples of methods for a fad diet:

• The “all Magnesium you want” diet
• The “Magnesiun is making you fat” diet.
• “I Ironed away 50 pounds”
• “Pumping irony and Consuming Iron”
• “Polyprotrexebate- the supplement guaranteed to reduce body fat by at least 20%”
• “Acrolyte polymer causes obesity”

Disclaimer : You cannot use fat, carbohydrates, or fiber because a famous Doctor has already claimed the trademark to each of them.

STEP 2 : Selecting your FAD diet Food items

When choosing the menu for your fad diet you will need your list of items that they have at the grocery store. Using this list, you must follow these rules:

Menu items cannot be carried by a regular grocery store. Select specific health food

stores, since their items tend to enhance gullability.

Examples:

Hoodia and Acai used to be good examples of fad diet ingredients but may be too common.

Molasses might be used on bulgar wheat.

Frozen rutabaga and starfruit are good ideas to accompany an arugula salad.

Menu items must be unlikely to be kept in ones pantry.

Examples:

Bananas are a good idea because they spoil.

Dairy products because their expiration is within a few days.

Frozen foods are good also because they will tie up freezer space and prevent  probability of storing ice cream.

Items should sound sort of healthy, but it is fine if they are not. Items should also have minimal appeal:

Examples:

Cottage cheese is an excellent example of this

Wheat Thins are good.

Plain yogurt is just bland enough.

Castor oil is also effective.

Serving sizes must be extremely small. Particularly of the items one would need to purchase in bulk. Best if this item is useless for everyday consumption or spoils quickly.

Examples:

1/8 of a pound of ground bison.

One 1/8″ slice of kiwi.

¼  cup of puffed rice.

Two teaspoons of un-milled bulgar wheat.

1 teaspoon of dark molasses.

3 loganberries.

Items must be repulsive (this has the advantage of enhancing appetite suppressance). For these items in particular, you can increase the portion size and for some meals allow for unlimited amounts

Examples:

Red cabbage is unlimited, as it is a hidden source of phytocarageenan!

6 cans of popeye creamed spinach.

12 oz of braized goat liver

Tuesdays: eat all of the boiled crawfish you want.

 

STEP 3:  The Diet Schedule

Disclaimer: Ease Will Please

Time Span for expected results

Select a very short time span. Too long of a  span will ensure loss of interest too quickly. Too short of a timespan and the dieter will not be able to punish themselves enough.

Perfect timespan is thus around a window of 3 or 4 days.

 

Weight Reduction

Select a guaranteed weight reduction expectation. Most people realistically realize that could not physically lose more than 5 pounds per day, thus keep your guarantee a fraction shy of that.

Disclaimer: Although 3 or 4 pounds a day is reasonable, ensure your guarantee is viable, thus give a range rather than an exact number.  A large range of weight loss will provide more confidence in obtaining goals. And put an official sounding disclaimer in there for good measure. Here are some examples:

• Lose up to 15 pounds in 4 days! (Actual weight loss ranges from 6 – 14 pounds   depending on the person, their metabolism, and the digestibility of the  phytotetracarotene encountered).
• Follow Dr. Art Ritis’s program and see a skinny mirror image (You may experience some joint pain but if you suck it up skinny overrrides joint pain).

Step 4. Plan the Menu

Planning the specific menu should include taking each meal and eliminate one aspect from a normal meal. Remember to use your ingredients and the rules you have set in the above steps.

Examples:

Regular Breakfast	Fad Diet Breakfast
1 Cup   Milk	3 cups unpasteurized goat milk
Piece of Toast	French water cracker
Eggs and Fruit	Free Range ostrich Egg and 1/8” slice   Kiwi
Turkeylink	—- no replacement —-
Coffee, milk and Honey	Coffee (optional)   2   tsp coconut yogurt Or 2 tsp raw cane sugar)

 

Lunch	Fad Diet Lunch
Salad	1/3 of a Freze lettuce, purple cabbage Dress with fresh grated lemon peel and ground pomegranate seeds
Soup	Purple Cabbage soup
Whole grain turkey sandwich	—— no replacement —-
V8 Tomato juice	Juiced papino seeds and molasses

 

Dinner	Fad Diet Dinner
Mashed Potatoes	—
Roast Beef	26 ounces of Liverwurst
Carrots	1/2 endive sauted in palm oil
Chocolate cake	Pineapple flavored unpasteurized cottage   cheese Enriched with phytotetra zinc

 

Final Steps :  Add testimonials

 

Examples:

I lost 13 pounds between Monday and Thursday and you can too! (Include disclaimer: each individual may experience different results. However Ms. Ann Orexia is an average person that has never excelled at anything).

I was not even born the weight I am now. This is a miracle that changed my life. Thank you Dr. D. Menshea.

I have tried everything. This is the first time a diet has ever worked for me. I love that I can eat as much as I want, and not have to exercise. I have gotten used to the rule of not swallowing.

SUMMARY:

When you are done publish your diet in the form of a book. Use the pictures of your athletic friends as “after” shots. Now is a good time to haul out that air brush software if necessary.

 

Some extra tips:

Amazon.com is a good resource for best sellers.

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet. By that time, you have made the sale, and you are home free.

Have your friends provide some believable testimonials and submit the diet summary into a Health and Fitness Magazine. These are not peer-reviewed and they are often looking for creative journalism, so although this is an extra step, it is relatively simple.

Research studies may provide additional credibility, so look up some key words in peer reviewed journals such as the Minnesota Journal of Medicine, quote some studies that include your special ingredient in the title. Eg: if you selected phytoquadracarotene magnesium as your specific ingredient (see STEP 3 above), then a study titled “Carotene and magnesium eaten simultaneously improves eye health,” is appropriate.